Whose story?

Topaz keeping me company among all my snifflings.
I never realized how beautiful the view is from this angle.

While suffering under sinus/tonsil infection stuff hasn't been fun this past week, it has been good.

Good in the sense that I, once again, was reminded that this is not my story, my life that I am living.

It's His story. And it's His life that he has bestowed on me.

I'm not a victim or a puppet as many philosophers have philosophized. But I am at the same time, the heroine, the side story, the sinner, the winner (and many other titles) in the story that my Father is writing for me along with everyone else here on this crazy planet.

I am not a victim. I am not a puppet. Instead of focusing on myself and my needs, what I need to ask myself is "Am I participating in His story and am I doing it willingly?"

What I have control over is being a willing participant. The story can go on with me sitting in the sidelines watching. Or the story can go on with me butting my character into the story lines where I don't belong.

The key there, is moderation with wisdom. To know when you are falling into one ditch or the other.

Knowing when you aren't the main show, think Lydia Bennet in Pride and Prejudice, and looking like an idiot for pushing in where God's said, "Not yet, or no this is not a part of the perfect plan I have for you". Or knowing when it's time to step up and do something, and not just sit there and watch the world go by, like Mrs. Bennet perhaps?

Often, I am not afraid to participate in this life, I just want to do it on my terms. I am willing, but only willing for what I want. Not necessarily for what God wants.

One of our pastors at church talked recently about saying "Yes, Lord" at the beginning of each day. The days I remember to say that and to pray that the Lord's desires would be my desires, it's so much easier to remember throughout the day, that it is His Story, not my story.

This seems pretty perfect right now!

What also helps is when life does seem almost perfect (at this moment I'm siting on the lawn chair basking in the warmth of what may be our warmest day this year) is to pray proactively for the moments that you know won't be perfect. Instead of waiting to be in the middle of the perfect storm and praying for peace and wisdom, how much better is it to begin praying before the storm comes?

And to pray that I would remember, remember, remember that it's His Story. Not mine. And I'm going to be thankful for that.