Friday, November 12, 2010

How not to change a lug nut

Herbert needs his wheels taken off.

1. Find cross lug nut loosener thingy mah jingy in the back of the car.
2. Attempt to use it on lug nuts that are very rusted but were taken off when we were inspecting Herbert.
3. Admit to myself that I'm not strong enough.
4. Spend 5 minutes trying to find the perfect steel pipe for leverage.
5. Get confused about which size I'm using and search for another steel pipe.
6. Find 5' steel pipe.
7. Attempt again.
8. Live in fear that I am going to shear off the end of the lug nut loosener thingy mah jingy. (It's late, and I don't feel like looking up the official name. Not that it would take more time than retyping that over and over again.)
9. Attempt again. Success! (x6)
10. Realize that by the time I'm done loosening all of the lug nuts, it will be Spring.
11. Move on to next wheel.
12. Try one nut. No success. These lug nuts haven't been taken of since who knows when. Pipe is bending dangerously.
13. Try another nut. Pipe is bending. "How much force can really I use on it?" I wonder. Afraid its going to shear off.
14. It shears off. With a nice snap.
15. Go tell Dad that I sheared off his lug nut loosener thingy mah jingy.
16. He laughs.
17. Tell family members that are home for dinner about it.
18. Scott and Tyler laugh.
19. Mom looks concerned. I assure her I will buy her a new one.
20. Scott gives me a high five.
21. Tyler and Scott both attempt to tell me in pigeon African-English "that I done be strong mammy" (from Gerald Durrell's books)
22. Yes, we they are just that weird.

Picture of said lug nut loosener thingy mah jingy:


The Plucky Farmer said...

I like it!

Ann said...

Why do you have to buy are new one? Aren't there 3 good ends still?

Amanda Evans said...

I LOVE Cone dinner conversation!

Amy said...

Wow! You are strong and Herbert didn't want to give up his tires.

Scott Cone said...

I love the description you gave...

Esmeralda Gatsby said...

This made me laugh. :) Especially the Gerald Durrel part :)

Farmgirl said...

haha, awesome!!